Thursday, March 1, 2012

A Year's Time

March 1st, 2010: Unemployed, in an extremely unhealthy relationship, self-destructive, unconfident, smoker of 3 years, addicted to food, 186 lbs., and 43% body fat. I limited everything I did; from wearing things I wanted to wear to doing things I wanted to do (dancing, playing sports, following my aspirations, even bowling). On this day, my mom talked me into getting a gym membership that I really didn't want. The selling point? She was paying for it and buying me new tennis shoes. Those were the only two reasons I agreed to join. Walking into the gym, I was extremely apprehensive; I had tried dozens of times to lose weight in the past ten years, so why would this time be any different? The way I saw it, I was just walking into another failed attempt. We got signed up, I got my tennis shoes, and I unknowingly started something that would change every aspect of my life in a year's time.

One year later; March 1st 2011: Employed as a PERSONAL TRAINER at the very gym that I set foot in one year ago, in a relationship with the most wonderful man I've ever met, self-motivating, confident, non-smoker of 1 year, eats for fuel, 139 lbs., and 18% body fat. I can now feel comfortable in any clothing (or without any clothing), run, climb ropes, dance my ass off, throw 100 lbs. over my head, and believe that I can do ANYTHING in the world that I want to do. Can I get a 'fuck yes'?! I now walk into the gym as if it is my home; that place has seen me at my best and definitely seen me at my worst. Because of my [forced] decision one year ago, I have lost weight, gained health, met the most amazing people, helped others to do what I've done, and shared my story with hundreds of people. My life has changed 100% because of ONE decision and I have not looked back once. 

To everyone that stood by my side during the past year: thank you so much. There were days that I wanted to call it quits; I thought it would be so much easier to give in and go back to my old ways. It would have been easier; this has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Thank you to my family, my friends, the love of my life, Aaron, my coworkers, and even the strangers that didn't stop believing in me and continue to motivate and support me to this day. 

To those that didn't think I could do it: I did. And your disbelief and envy just fueled me every single day. So thank you, also. And it's funny because you all seem to be the ones asking for my help. From Facebook messages to small talk at parties asking for advice, the girls that made fun of me in high school for being fat have obviously been eating their karma cupcakes for a few years, eh? I'm definitely here to help, but you'll have to pay my hourly rate now. 

To my trainers/coaches, Dominique, Brian, Ma, J, and Chris: there is a special place in my heart for you all. I'm honestly not sure if I could have done this without you all by my side. You've taught me what to do and what to eat, you've never let me quit, and you've scraped my ass off the floor workout after workout. I hope to be half as great at coaching and training as you guys have been for me. I love you all so much and I have never-ending gratitude for what you've done for me :)

To my BFF, Crystal: You have no idea how much your support has done for me. You really understand how this feels and I can't thank you enough. You're my workout buddy, my inspiration, and my BFF :) You always motivate me to push a little harder and do one more rep. Thanks for suffering through awful WOD's with me, even when we're hungover. Even if you'll always deadlift and squat more than me, I love you for days! Team BFF forever!! 

To my PFCF family: thanks for cheering me on everyday. I love you all so much; you're the best motivation ever! I have so many amazing athletes that I get to call my CrossFit family. You all inspire me everyday to better myself more and more.

To everyone I know that is struggling with their weight, whether you are one of the bitches from high school or not: quit making excuses and JUST DO IT. Trust me, I wish I hadn't waited so long; I feel like I wasted 10 years of my life being miserable, self-destructive, and pathetic. I'm definitely not saying it'll be easy, but I promise it'll be incredibly worth it. I am always here if you need advice, support, workouts, meal plans, whatever. And I was only partially joking about the hourly rate; if I can help just one person achieve goals like I have, I will be happy for you...even if you are a bitch. 

Today is one of the best days of my life. I am so thankful to be where I am today. On top of it being my one year gym anniversary, I passed my NASM test on Tuesday and today was a double PR day. I finally got 5 consecutive unassisted pullups and I also got a 75# snatch 4 times :) When I'm feeling down about myself or thinking of giving up, I just need to remember how far I've come. It's been an amazing year...can't wait to see what I can do in the next 12 months.